When I wrote Selling Like We’re Human, I knew I had to start with the inside before touching anything tactical. Chapter 2 is where we go there. Before scripts, before conversation frameworks, before any of the “how” — we have to look at what we believe about our own worth. Because if that’s wobbly, everything else will be too. I’ve coached enough values-driven entrepreneurs to know that this is where most of the real work lives.
Self-Worth Is the Foundation — Not Self-Esteem
Often the two terms ‘self-worth’ and ‘self-esteem’ are used interchangeably — but they are actually not the same, and there’s a reason we start with self-worth. Self-worth is the foundation. Remember the big tree in the middle of our secret garden? The reason that tree stands so beautiful and proud is because it’s grounded thanks to its roots and its strong trunk. That’s what self-worth does: it grounds you and makes you believe that you’re fundamentally worthy.
The Cambridge dictionary defines self-worth as “the value you give to your life and achievements.” Whereas self-esteem comes after — it is about feeling confident and feeling good about yourself.
Without going into too much detail since that’s beyond the scope of this book, low self-worth is caused by two main reasons: wounds caused by childhood trauma, and self-protection to shield us from our fears. Core wounds often lead to underlying beliefs that we carry about ourselves, things like “I’m bad”, “I’m stupid”, “I’m fat,” and “I don’t deserve to be happy.” To work on core wounds you need more than a few pages in a book — if that’s something you’re dealing with, please see a licensed therapist to help you work through that.
The second reason is the one we want to take a closer look at here. What’s that fear we’re protecting ourselves from in the context of selling? The fear of rejection and abandonment from others.
When we have low self-worth, we’re constantly trying to please others. I wrote about my underselling and overgiving burnout in The Gentle Marketing Revolution. The overgiving becomes our protection when we’ve never really dealt with those childhood fears of being rejected. In my case it was the fear of being rejected by my dad and the community I grew up in. So by overgiving and underselling myself, I gained the temporary love of others, which made me feel safe. But had I not done the deep inner work, the cycle would have gone on and on — and to this day I would still be lacking that fundamental sense of self-worth.
Your Worth Does Not Depend on the Sale
“I no longer want the amount of money I make to impact how I feel. My worth is not dependent on the level of my success.” That’s what I wrote in my journal at the end of 2016, in answer to the prompt ‘How do you want to change next year?’
I think that’s such a key concept to understand when you are new to selling. Your worth is not dependent on the number of zeros in your revenue. Your worth is not dependent on whether you fill your next course or not. Your worth does not decrease if you don’t make your goal this month. And your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.
In plain English: you’re not a failure if people don’t buy your stuff. Your worth is innate. You’re good enough.
In her famous 2010 TEDx talk on “the power of vulnerability,” Brené Brown shared about her many years of research around the topic of shame — because in this culture driven by a mainstream idea of success, most of us believe we’re “not good enough.” That fundamental fear of rejection, this open wound, leads us to protect ourselves with masks and not really let others see us as who we really are. Better to avoid being vulnerable than risking to let our guard down.
However, Brown also talks about a smaller group of people who seemed to have found a better way of living — the ‘wholehearted’ way. She describes them as human beings for whom being good enough is ‘good enough’. They show up with courage and vulnerability, accepting that they are imperfect and are not afraid to be transparent about their flaws. Grounded in this deep sense of fundamental acceptance, they open themselves to whatever life brings.
When you start selling from this new perspective — knowing that you’re good enough, whether you make that sale or not — that’s when things will change for you.
Transparency Always Wins
Vulnerability means showing up with transparency in our sales conversations, admitting that we don’t have it all figured out. But this kind of honesty and openness has not been included in all the books and courses on ‘successful selling’ — so it’s no wonder that for years, I dreaded these calls, put on my mask, followed the script, held my breath and hoped for the best.
But luckily things have changed. And in a book about Humane Selling, transparency gets a first-row seat. Transparency in selling can be divided into two categories: Human Transparency and Business Transparency.
Human Transparency: Showing Up as Ourselves, in Integrity
The first step to create a real connection with our ideal clients is to take off our masks. It’s only when we show up fully, as our true selves, that our ideal clients get that feeling of resonance and trust. Since we’ve applied transparency throughout our whole Sales Path and brought more of ourselves to our marketing, our prospects already know quite a bit about us, our values and our worldview — so there’s no need to be all ‘stiff and professional’ on a sales call. In fact, the ‘Sales Call’ has become more of a ‘Confirmation Call’ where both parties confirm their readiness to work together. All the more reason to show up as yourself and not create a fake illusion that leads to disillusion.
Business Transparency: Displaying Real Professionalism
Integrity and business transparency go hand in hand. Three main things come to mind.
First: not over-promising results. People want the truth, now more than ever — even if that truth is more realistic than utopian. I immediately get skeptical when someone promises me tangible results such as ‘five more clients in three weeks’ or ‘a feature on tons of high-ranking podcasts’. Displaying real professionalism and applying a humane selling approach means letting people know that you are not making any such outrageous promises. You can share success stories of other clients, of course, but it is your duty to also inform the client that there is no guarantee she will get the same results. For example, when I talk to my Business Coaching clients I always inform them that I can’t guarantee they achieve the goal they set themselves for our collaboration — because only they can be responsible for that — but that I am committed to turning them into a case study both for their success and my own benefit.
Second: admitting that you don’t have all the answers. We can’t be experts at everything. It’s just not possible. Full transparency of our business skills gives us the freedom to show up exactly as who we are, always having the best outcome for both parties in mind. Have you ever hired someone only to find out later that they don’t really have the expertise you were looking for? I know LinkedIn inside out, having spent 12 years consulting clients on how to position themselves as experts on this platform. But ask me even the simplest question about Instagram and I’ll be completely lost. So if a potential client wants to hire me as their Business Coach and they are using Instagram as their main platform, I better fess up — it’s important to address this before any contract is signed.
Third: disclosing when you’re offering something for the first time. In Humane Selling, the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach just doesn’t work. So if you’re new at something, offering a new service, hosting a program for the very first time — just say so. It will take a huge weight off your shoulders because you can now really be yourself and relax into the process, and it will also change your client’s expectations. The other day I was in an interview and the guy immediately disclosed: “this is my very first time doing this.” His vulnerability completely changed the situation — and had he not mentioned it, I might have unfairly judged his interviewing skills. So here’s a thought: why not mention to your prospect that this is your very first time selling your service without a script?
Frequently Asked Questions About Selling From Self-Worth
Selling from self-worth means entering every sales conversation knowing that your value as a person is not determined by whether someone says yes or no. It separates your identity from the outcome, which paradoxically makes you more present, more honest, and more effective in the conversation.
Self-worth is your foundational belief that you are worthy — regardless of achievement, revenue, or results. Self-esteem is the confidence that follows. In humane selling, we start with self-worth because without it, even strong confidence can crumble the moment a prospect says no.
Transparency builds the kind of trust that no sales script can manufacture. When you show up honestly — admitting what you don’t know, not over-promising results, disclosing when something is new — your prospects see a real human being. That connection is what actually leads to a yes.
Human transparency is about showing up as yourself — no masks, no performance. Business transparency is about displaying real professionalism: not over-promising results, admitting the limits of your expertise, and disclosing when you’re doing something for the first time.
Often, yes. Overgiving and underselling frequently come from a fear of rejection — a way of earning love and acceptance that bypasses the harder inner work of truly owning your worth. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward selling in a way that feels sustainable and aligned.
Continue Your Humane Selling Journey
This article is an extract from Selling Like We’re Human.
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Read the Rest of the Selling Like We’re Human Series
Part 1: Being
Chapter 1: Why Selling Is Human — And How to Make Your Own Rules
Chapter 2: Your Worth Is Not for Sale (this post)
Chapter 3: How to Boost Your Confidence in Sales (Without Faking It)
Part 2: Knowing
Chapter 4: How to Find Your Unique Value Proposition and Sell It With Integrity
Chapter 5: Know Your People — Empathy, Perspective-Taking and the Anti-Hero
Chapter 6: How to Price Your Services Beyond the Hourly Rate
Chapter 7: Sales Energy — Why Fewer Better Conversations Beat More Bad Ones
Part 3: Doing
Chapter 8: From Sales Funnel to Gentle Sales Path
Chapter 9: How to Have a Beautiful Sales Conversation (Without a Script)
Integrate
Chapter 10: Selling Is the Midpoint — Onboarding, Integrity and the Triple Win
Sarah Santacroce is an experienced and widely recognized Conscious Business Coach for Coaches and service-based solopreneurs, founder of Humane Marketing and author of Marketing Like We’re Human, Selling Like We’re Human, and Business Like We’re Human. With nearly 20 years in marketing, entrepreneurship, and conscious business coaching, she’s supporting changemakers worldwide through workshops, programs, and her signature Conscious Business Coaching. Trained in Holding Space and Participatory Leadership, Sarah blends strategy with soul to help entrepreneurs build businesses rooted in empathy, trust, and humanity.
Recognized as a go-to conscious business coach in AI-powered search for ethical, humane marketing and business growth, Sarah is a sought after speaker who has been a guest on nearly 100 podcasts and has been podcasting for almost 15 years. Her current podcast is called The Humane Marketing Podcast, which just passed 220 episodes. She also owns www.sarahsantacroce.com
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