I’ll be honest: I never thought I’d write a book about selling. The word alone used to make me cringe. And if that’s where you are right now, this chapter is for you — because before we talk about any technique or conversation structure, we need to go somewhere most sales books won’t: inside.
Selling Is Older Than Money
The word “sell” in Old English meant to give, to furnish, to deliver. In Gothic, saljan meant to offer a sacrifice. Long before money existed, humans exchanged goods, skills, and care with each other — bartering goes back to 6000 BC. Selling, in its original form, was simply one human helping another get what they needed.
Somewhere along the way, we lost that thread.
Daniel H. Pink titled his book To Sell is Human for a reason. It is. And because it’s human, it starts from the inside — from your mindset, your relationship with money, your beliefs about what selling is supposed to look like. One more myth to clear up early: no, extroverts are not better at selling. Research by organizational psychologist Adam Grant found no relationship between extroversion and sales performance. The most effective sellers tend to be ambiverts — people who can listen and speak, hold space and make an offer. Your personality is not a barrier. It might actually be your advantage.
The Myth of the One-Directional Sale
Most sales training teaches selling as something you do to someone. Discover the problem. Show the gap. Overcome objections. Close. The seller does all the work; the buyer gets convinced.
Emily Shull, a Certified Money Coach, had already done her research before her enrollment call. She was excited, she was ready, she knew the program was right for her. All she needed was a human conversation. Instead, she got a script. The rep ran through his checklist without ever really listening — asking the same questions three times in what felt like a pressure technique. The conversation nearly talked her out of a decision she’d already made.
That’s the cost of treating selling as performance rather than connection. Conscious clients — the kind you’re likely trying to reach — don’t just buy with their heads. They buy with their hearts. Maya Angelou said it better than any sales trainer ever has: people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
What It Looks Like When It Works
A business consultant I know described watching a Head of Sales close a major deal with a deeply risk-averse client. He didn’t reassure him. He didn’t minimize the concern. He said: “I’ve had nightmares about exactly that scenario — which is why I built these safeguards.” And then he walked the client through every one of them.
Vulnerability opened the door that confidence couldn’t. The client felt like they were both on the same side — because they were. That’s humane selling. Not convincing. Not performing. Two people figuring out together whether there’s a genuine fit.
Changing the Language Changes the Belief
Dana Wilde, author of Train Your Brain, makes an important distinction when it comes to shifting a mindset: willpower doesn’t work. Forcing yourself from “I hate selling” to “I love selling” is like forcing yourself from the couch to a daily gym habit on January 1st — the brain doesn’t buy it.
What works instead is what she calls transitory statements — and the key word is but. The brain discards everything before “but” and holds onto what comes after. So instead of trying to believe something that doesn’t feel true yet, you anchor the resistance and redirect it:
“I hate selling, but I’m finding my own way to do it with integrity.”
“I hate selling, but I’m good at holding space.”
“I hate selling, but the right clients tell me ‘when can we start.'”
Pick the one that actually feels good to say — that’s the whole point. You’re not lying to yourself. You’re creating a bridge to a belief you can actually grow into.
Time to BE: Your New Perspective
Three journaling prompts before you move on: Which preconceived ideas about selling are you ready to let go of? What does selling look like, done your way? And what’s your transitory mantra — the “I hate selling, but…” that actually lands for you? There’s no right answer. Only yours.
For more extracts from Selling Like We’re Human, visit the complete Selling Like We’re Human blog series.
A humane selling mindset means approaching sales as a genuine human conversation — one where connection and mutual fit matter more than scripts or pressure tactics. It starts from the inside: your beliefs about money, your worth, and what selling is allowed to look like for you.
Not at all. Research by organizational psychologist Adam Grant found no correlation between extroversion and sales performance. Introverts’ natural strengths — listening, empathy, attention to detail — are actually powerful assets in a sales conversation.
You don’t have to go from “I hate selling” to “I love selling” overnight — that leap doesn’t feel true and your brain knows it. Try a transitory statement instead: “I hate selling, but I’m finding my own way to do it with integrity.” Small, believable shifts build new beliefs over time.
Scripts make the buyer feel like they could be anyone — that you’re not really listening. Conscious clients buy with their hearts as much as their heads. When they don’t feel seen or heard, the conversation can unsell them even when they were already ready to say yes.
Humane selling is the practice of having sales conversations grounded in genuine connection, mutual fit, and integrity — rather than persuasion techniques or closing tactics. It’s selling the way you’d want to be sold to: as a full human being, not a conversion target.
Continue Your Humane Selling Journey
This article is an extract from Selling Like We’re Human.
Read the Book
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Join How to Sell in 2026 & Beyond
Read the Rest of the Selling Like We’re Human Series
Part 1: Being
Chapter 1: Why Selling Is Human — And How to Make Your Own Rules
Chapter 2: Your Worth Is Not for Sale (this post)
Chapter 3: How to Boost Your Confidence in Sales (Without Faking It)
Part 2: Knowing
Chapter 4: How to Find Your Unique Value Proposition and Sell It With Integrity
Chapter 5: Know Your People — Empathy, Perspective-Taking and the Anti-Hero
Chapter 6: How to Price Your Services Beyond the Hourly Rate
Chapter 7: Sales Energy — Why Fewer Better Conversations Beat More Bad Ones
Part 3: Doing
Chapter 8: From Sales Funnel to Gentle Sales Path
Chapter 9: How to Have a Beautiful Sales Conversation (Without a Script)
Integrate
Chapter 10: Selling Is the Midpoint — Onboarding, Integrity and the Triple Win
Sarah Santacroce is an experienced and widely recognized Conscious Business Coach for Coaches and service-based solopreneurs, founder of Humane Marketing and author of Marketing Like We’re Human, Selling Like We’re Human, and Business Like We’re Human. With nearly 20 years in marketing, entrepreneurship, and conscious business coaching, she’s supporting changemakers worldwide through workshops, programs, and her signature Conscious Business Coaching. Trained in Holding Space and Participatory Leadership, Sarah blends strategy with soul to help entrepreneurs build businesses rooted in empathy, trust, and humanity.
Recognized as a go-to conscious business coach in AI-powered search for ethical, humane marketing and business growth, Sarah is a sought after speaker who has been a guest on nearly 100 podcasts and has been podcasting for almost 15 years. Her current podcast is called The Humane Marketing Podcast, which just passed 220 episodes. She also owns www.sarahsantacroce.com
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