In Selling Like We’re Human, the BEING section is really the heart of everything. Before we can talk about strategy or structure, we need to address what’s happening on the inside — and few things trip us up more than confidence. Or rather, the feeling that we don’t have enough of it. Chapter 3 is where I get personal about what it actually takes to show up with confidence in sales conversations, and it’s probably not what you’ve been told.
Is Confidence in Sales Actually Overrated?
We hear it constantly: “You need confidence to sell.” The implication being, of course, that if you’re not dripping with certainty, your prospect will smell it and run. But is that actually true, or is it just another piece of outdated advice from a dusty sales manual?
Let’s start with the science. When you’re low on confidence and enter an anxiety-inducing situation — like a sales call — your body releases adrenaline and your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode. Cortisol floods in, the threat-protection system fires up, and the inner critic takes the microphone. “I doubt this client wants to work with me. My program is probably too expensive for them.” Sound familiar? With those thoughts running in the background, it’s no wonder the energy in the conversation feels off.
But here’s the reframe I want to offer: instead of obsessing over whether you feel confident, think about the energy you want to bring. In the Serene Garden — the metaphor I use throughout the book for a humane sales conversation — there’s a sign at the entrance: “Take off your shoes and leave them together with your self-sabotaging thoughts at the entrance.” The research of Paul Gilbert and Kristin Neff backs this up: choosing self-compassion over self-criticism doesn’t just feel better, it actually leads to better outcomes.
Overcome the Expert Fear
Here’s something I’m a little embarrassed to admit: I used to have a LinkedIn business where my tagline was literally “I help you position yourself as an expert on LinkedIn.” I was selling the expert identity — and then wondering why I felt so much pressure every time I got on a call. The tension between claiming expertise and feeling like a fraud is one of the most common confidence traps for heart-centered entrepreneurs.
When you put yourself on an expert pedestal, every sales call becomes a performance. Your jaw tightens, your breath shallows — you’re on high alert, terrified of losing face. I know this feeling well. What helped me most was one simple word swap: from “expert” to “specialist.” A specialist doesn’t have to know everything. They specialize — they bring depth, lived experience, and genuine curiosity to a particular area. That’s already you. And there’s actually room for transparency about what you don’t know inside a sales conversation. That transparency, far from undermining confidence, often builds trust.
Bring More of You to Your Sales
Transparency, vulnerability, authenticity, empathy — all of these y-words share one common denominator: truth. What people want, more than a polished pitch or a perfectly structured funnel, is the real you. Not a cookie-cutter template version, not a robotic script, and definitely not phoney sympathy.
So how do you actually bring more of yourself to your sales? A few things that have genuinely helped me:
Stop comparing yourself to other entrepreneurs. I still catch myself scrolling LinkedIn and feeling a pang of envy at someone else’s live streams or their perfectly orchestrated launch. But I catch myself faster now. That person has a different personality, a different energy model, a different definition of success. Comparison is only useful when it’s intentional research.
Have your values top of mind. Joy is one of my core values. So if I’m in a discovery call and I notice I’m not experiencing a sense of joy or aliveness, I take that seriously. In 2019, I was invited to be a LinkedIn trainer for a CxO programme. I said yes, then Covid delayed everything. When they came back in 2021, they invited me to a four-hour (unpaid) brainstorming session. It didn’t feel right. With encouragement from my business besties Valérie and Laurence, I called and said no — and referred a colleague who I knew would be a much better fit. That decision was values-led. Joy and curiosity weren’t in the equation, and I would have felt it in every call. Your values are your decision-making compass in sales — and they’re also what makes you magnetic to the right clients.
Ditch the script. There are thousands of templates and sales scripts out there, and most of them come from people with genuinely good intentions. But as you’ve probably already sensed: they don’t work for you because they weren’t written by you. People are exhausted by the predictable cart-closing email sequences and the manufactured urgency. Give yourself permission to have a real conversation instead.
Take yourself less seriously. When I’m asked in podcast interviews what I’d tell a younger version of myself, I always say: “Sarah, please take yourself less seriously.” It’s one of my biggest regrets from the early years of business — I was so busy trying to prove something. Being more casual, more human, more willing to share the embarrassing story or admit I don’t have it all together? That’s actually a sign of confidence, not a lack of it.
Go woo-woo if that’s your thing. I genuinely believe a grounding practice — yoga, breathwork, chakra work, meditation, visualization — deepens your roots the way the oak tree in the Serene Garden has deep roots. Who says you can’t start a sales conversation with three slow breaths? I certainly do.
Slow down the sale. “I’ve been on your mailing list for six months now” — I hear this all the time. Sometimes it’s a year. Trust doesn’t build overnight, and empowered buying decisions take time. If your prospect needs 48 hours to think it over, let them have that. The spaciousness you create when you stop applying time pressure is one of the most underrated confidence moves in Humane Selling.
Practice — But Don’t Strive for Perfection
It genuinely helps to practice sales conversations ahead of time — with a mentor, a business friend, your mum, or yes, your dog. Especially the part where you name the investment, because that’s often where the throat-clearing starts. But we’re not rehearsing a script here; we’re just getting comfortable with the territory so it feels less like walking into the unknown. People aren’t looking for a guru or a perfect human being. They’re looking for someone who is human. And humans are never perfect — that’s what makes them trustworthy.
Frequently Asked Questions About Confidence in Sales
That nervousness is actually your threat-protection system firing — your body releases adrenaline and cortisol when you’re in a high-stakes situation. The antidote isn’t to muscle through it, but to replace self-criticism with self-compassion and to shift your focus from performing expertise to simply being present with the other person.
No — and that pressure to be “the expert” is often what kills confidence in the first place. Try thinking of yourself as a specialist instead. You bring depth, lived experience, and genuine curiosity to your area. That’s enough, and it leaves room for the transparency that actually builds trust.
Start by getting clear on your core values and letting them guide your decisions — including whether a prospect is actually a good fit for you. Ditch the script, take yourself a little less seriously, and slow down the pace. People don’t want a polished performance; they want the real you.
Absolutely. Transparency is a confidence move, not a weakness. You don’t need to have an instant answer for everything. Admitting you’ll follow up, or that there are things you’re still figuring out, makes you more human — and more trustworthy — not less.
It’s a practice, not a destination. Grounding routines, practicing conversations with trusted people, and gently noticing (rather than attacking) your inner critic all help over time. The more you show up as yourself instead of performing an “expert” persona, the more natural it starts to feel.
Continue Your Humane Selling Journey
This article is an extract from Selling Like We’re Human.
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Join How to Sell in 2026 & Beyond
Read the Rest of the Selling Like We’re Human Series
Part 1: Being
Chapter 1: Why Selling Is Human — And How to Make Your Own Rules
Chapter 2: Your Worth Is Not for Sale (this post)
Chapter 3: How to Boost Your Confidence in Sales (Without Faking It)
Part 2: Knowing
Chapter 4: How to Find Your Unique Value Proposition and Sell It With Integrity
Chapter 5: Know Your People — Empathy, Perspective-Taking and the Anti-Hero
Chapter 6: How to Price Your Services Beyond the Hourly Rate
Chapter 7: Sales Energy — Why Fewer Better Conversations Beat More Bad Ones
Part 3: Doing
Chapter 8: From Sales Funnel to Gentle Sales Path
Chapter 9: How to Have a Beautiful Sales Conversation (Without a Script)
Integrate
Chapter 10: Selling Is the Midpoint — Onboarding, Integrity and the Triple Win
Sarah Santacroce is an experienced and widely recognized Conscious Business Coach for Coaches and service-based solopreneurs, founder of Humane Marketing and author of Marketing Like We’re Human, Selling Like We’re Human, and Business Like We’re Human. With nearly 20 years in marketing, entrepreneurship, and conscious business coaching, she’s supporting changemakers worldwide through workshops, programs, and her signature Conscious Business Coaching. Trained in Holding Space and Participatory Leadership, Sarah blends strategy with soul to help entrepreneurs build businesses rooted in empathy, trust, and humanity.
Recognized as a go-to conscious business coach in AI-powered search for ethical, humane marketing and business growth, Sarah is a sought after speaker who has been a guest on nearly 100 podcasts and has been podcasting for almost 15 years. Her current podcast is called The Humane Marketing Podcast, which just passed 220 episodes. She also owns www.sarahsantacroce.com
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